The Weapons of our Warfare – Tactics 6 – Our Speech
The enemy is described as the prince of the power of the air (Eph. 2:2 – and our words have to pass through the air to get to the listener). But we read in Rev. 12, that the saints ‘overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and the word of their testimony” (Rev. 12:11). So our words have power to overcome the enemy!
Words are not simply sounds caused by our mouths shaping air passing through our larynx. In contrast to the rhyme we probably all learnt as children “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me”, Proverbs 18:21 says that “Death and life are in the power of the tongue”. Our words are powerful weapons, to build up or destroy. Children can be scarred for life by words spoken over them, or they can be built up and given a good foundation for life. The same in our relationships as adults, especially as disciples of the Lord Jesus (who never needed to retract a single word that He uttered!)
Quotes from the Internet
- Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can break my heart
- Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can make me think I deserved it
- Sticks and stones may break my bones,
But words can also hurt me.
Sticks and stones break only skin,
While words are ghosts that haunt me.
Pain from words has left its scar
On mind and heart that’s tender.
Cuts and bruises now have healed,
It’s words that I remember.
Emotions are very vulnerable to injury (even when we shut them down so we won’t be hurt). James describes the tongue as “a fire” (James 3:6) – and who has not been burned by it? Proverbs 15:4 describes a “healing” tongue as “a tree of life.” As much as love is an action, what would romance be without words? Encouragement often comes through spoken words. So does discouragement. “Reckless words pierce like a sword” (Proverbs 12:18). The wound is emotional, and it is deep. What we say can have a profound effect on others. But also we can be the ‘other’ that has been affected!
More quotes from Internet
- Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver
- Picture of girl with duct tape over her mouth – quote from website:
I had a teacher in elementary school who spoke destruction over me on a daily basis. As an eight year old girl, I started to believe her. I was worthless. I was fat. I was ugly. I was a disappointment. Those words stuck with me well into my twenties.
It wasn’t until I started replacing those lies with God’s truth that my heart started to change. Truth like: You are more than a conqueror. You are my child. I love you with an everlasting love. You are cherished. You are my beloved. You have the mind of Christ. You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
Oh… those words have lit a fire in me, a fire I refuse to allow the words of this world to put out. That’s why my hope is for you, too, friend.
Each word we speak has to potential to cause people to shrink back or to move forward in confidence. I’m preaching this myself, as I struggle with sarcasm. I used to try and convince myself it was a “spiritual gift”, but that was just a sarcastic cover up to make myself feel better about my hurtful words.
(https://www.sundijo.com/sticks/)
But what if we are the one affected by the words of others?
Words like “You are worthless”, “You’ll never amount to much”, “Why can’t you be like …”, “You are fat”, “You are ugly” said over you, and you become like what has been said!
How can we deal with that?
1. Stop believing lies about yourself
My testimony – never good enough for my father, so my life has been characterised by needing to impress others – seen in my driving! And my character for most of my life.
But can work the other way too – praise and commendation can be addictive/
2. Know who you are in Christ
What does God say about you?
- You are my child. (John 1:12; Eph. 1:3, 1 John 3:1)
- You are fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psa. 139:14)
- I have loved you with an everlasting love. (Jer. 31:3)
- You are cherished – redeemed with the precious blood of Christ (1 Pet. 1:19)
- You are chosen of God, holy and beloved (Col. 3:12)
- You have the mind of Christ. (1 Cor. 2:16)
- You are more than a conqueror. (Rom. 8:37)
3. Stop remembering what God says He will remember no more
Fundamental to know that we have been forgiven! And how! Three times in Scripture, the Lord says He will remember our sins and our iniquities no more (Jer. 31:34 Heb.8:12; 10:17)
What though th’ accuser roar
Of ills that I have done!
I know them well, and thousands more:
Jehovah findeth none.
When Satan tempts me to despair
And tells me of the guilt within
Upward I look and see Him there
Who made an end to all my sin
Because the sinless Savior died
My sinful soul is counted free
For God the Just is satisfied
To look on Him and pardon me
We need to “stand firm in the freedom with which Christ made us free” (Gal. 5:1) so that we can be free to …
4. Forgive
We are to forgive others as we have been forgiven (Eph. 4:32) Even if the other person or persons don’t acknowledge what they’ve done, or even are dead. Forgive = release – let go of the resentment and negative thoughts. They are poisoning you not the other person – it’s like you are drinking the poison and waiting for the other person to die.
Can we forgive and forget? Is it right to say “I’ve forgiven them but cannot forget what they did/said”? We do have an inbuilt memory bank, so even after we have forgiven someone, the memory will still be there. It’s what we do with the memory that indicates full forgiveness. When the memory ceases to hurt, then you know that you have truly forgiven. But if you remember with resentment, or self-pity, or bitterness, then you haven’t forgiven.
We have to choose how we treat those memories, to counteract them with positives, reminding yourself that you’ve forgiven them (see next point).
The flesh says “It’s not fair!”. This is where dying to self comes in. That is not negative, but glorious freedom! So that you can …
5. Declare the positive to counteract the negative
This is not ‘the power of positive thought’! But declaring the truth – Jesus said. “You will know the truth and the truth will set you free”. (John 8:32) He is The Truth! How do we know the truth? By ‘continuing in His word’ (John 8:31)
6. Words have power
God’s Words have creative power, to bring things into existence (Gen. 1; John 1; Rom. 4:17). Our words cannot bring material things into existence (despite the best efforts of the Prosperity Gospel preachers to wrench that interpretation out of Scripture!). But they do have power to change attitudes and outcomes. Prov. 18:12 again.
What is to be done, then, to tame the tongue?
God declares, through the apostle James, that “no one can tame the tongue” (James 3:8). The lengthy discussion about the tongue in this chapter is both convicting and illuminating. Among the things this chapter reveals about the tongue: it is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts (verse 5); it is a fire and a world of evil that defiles the whole person (verse 6); it is set on fire by hell (verse 6); and it is an unrestrainable evil and full of deadly poison (verse 7). Is it any wonder, then, that God declares that taming the tongue is impossible?
But the problem or our speech doesn’t start with the tongue! Jesus said “Out of the fullness of the heart, the mouth speaks” (Matt. 12:35), or as JB Phillip’s translation puts it “For a man’s words depend on what fills his heart”. The heart of the problem is the problem of the heart! Our words are a window into the thoughts and machinations of our hearts
Lurking within every one of us are varying degrees of hatred, bitterness, jealousy, and pride, and the tongue takes hold of these and other destructive tendencies and strikes out, often with a push from Satan. We see this every day among strangers, friends, siblings, and, worst of all, among husbands and wives, the very people who, next to their love for the Lord Jesus, should have the most love for each other (Ephesians 5:22–33).
Our words too are the basis on which we will be judged. Jesus said, “the good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken. For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.” (Matt. 12:35-36) That could be a frightening thought, but for the grace of God and the Blood of Jesus!
If God has declared that “no one” can tame the tongue, how can we even begin to do so? There is only One who can control the tongue. Only by God’s Spirit living within us can we hope to gain control over our tongues. He convicts us when we sin with our lips, and that conviction drives us to repent and pray for more filling of the Spirit so we can avoid further sin. As we cling to Him and yield to Him in obedience, He controls us more and more, including our tongues.
One of the wonderful blessings of the New Covenant is that God has put His laws into our minds and written them on our hearts. Another wonderful blessing is that, through the power of the Holy Spirit and the Word of God, our minds are being renewed, so that we have the mind of Christ, as we’ve been considering in recent weeks.
So Paul’s words in our Ephesians passage about our speech and relationships with one another become, not a list of rules to keep, but a wonderful set of promises to enjoy.
What should come out of our mouths?
Paul tells us to “Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving. At the same time, pray also for us, that God may open to us a door for the word, to declare the mystery of Christ, on account of which I am in prison— that I may make it clear, which is how I ought to speak. Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” (Col 4:2-6)
- Prayer (including praising and blessing God James 3:9)
we can, and should, pray for situations and circumstances to change – in accordance with God’s Will – because that is where the power is (1 John 5:14). Lam. 3:37 says “Who has spoken and it came to pass, unless the Lord has commanded it?” Matt 16:19 – will have been done in heaven before we can command it on earth. - Thanksgiving
- Gracious words
- Truthful words
- Words the point people to the Lord Jesus
- Words giving the reason for the hope that we have (1 Pet. 3:15)
- Announcing the Good News! (Acts 1:8)
Note that it’s not our job to convict people of ‘sin, righteousness and judgement’ – that is the work of the Holy Spirit! (John 16:8)
But our lives must match up with our words! Eph. 4:1; 5:15
Read Ephesians 4:20 – 5:4
Note that the instructions in Eph. 4:25ff come after putting off the old man and putting on the new, i.e. the renewed mind is essential to renewed speech.
Language, Timothy!
Steve Maltz has a whole chapter with this title in “The Bishop’s New Clothes” regarding the use of expletives, and euphemisms that we commonly use to avoid blasphemy! But even the need to use expletives (whether ‘raw’ or ‘polite’) demonstrates a spirit that is not under control, but having a controlled spirit is a sign of wisdom (Prov. 17:27; James 3:17-18). The Renewed Mind (Eph. 4:23), filled with the Holy Spirit (Eph. 5:18), requires that we put off the ‘old man’. What are we to put off?
1. Lying
2. Corrupting talk
3. Bitter words, temper tantrums, revenge, profanity, and insults
4. Filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking
5. Careless speech
Dangers of careless speech – use of epithets indicates an uncontrolled spirit (James 3:2) and indicates which type of wisdom is driving you (James 3:13-16)
It is said that, in the Welsh revival, the pit ponies didn’t understand their drivers instructions after they got saved – their language was so different!
6. Fault finding
It’s also not always ‘spiritual’ to point out to others their faults! Joab rebuked David for numbering the people, but he was not a spiritual man. There are times when we need to speak to someone and the Bible lays out checks and balances for that:
- Jesus sets that out in Matt. 18:15-17, but that is to do with personal offence.
- In Gal. 6:1, those who are spiritual restoring someone overtaken with a fault in a spirit of gentleness—looking closely at themselves so they are not tempted also
- In 1 Cor. 5 the church dealing with gross immorality
7. Grumbling and murmuring
Dangers of grumbling 1 Cor. 10:10 (Ex. 15:24; 16:2-9; 17:2-3; Num. 14:2; 14:27-30; 16:41; Psa. 106:25; Jude 1:16) Do all things without grumbling or disputing Phil. 2:14
Well might we say with the Psalmist “Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!” (Psa. 141:3)
More quotes:
“Be sure to taste your words before you spit them out.”
“Think before you speak!”
For further study:
Read James 3 and look up the verses in Proverbs related to each section
- James 3:1-2 Importance of words Prov. 10:11,20; 12:14; 15:4; 17:10; 18:21; 25:11
- James 3:3-8 Danger of words Prov. 10:19; 14:23
- James 3:9-12, 14-16 Wrong way to speak Prov. 6:16-19; 11:9,12,13; 12:18; 13:3; 15:4; 16:27,28; 18:8.13; 26:23-28; 29:20
- James 3:13, 17-18 Right way to speak Prov. 10:14,21,32; 12:25; 15:1,4,23,28; 16:13,23,24; 17:27,28; 25:12,15; 27:5,6; 28:23